Stealin it back...old skool

1. I'm looking forward to getting myself back on a "normal" day shift schedule next week. That means waking up at 9 or 10 o'clock...yay!

2. I don't handle work very well. I have way too many other interests. Funny how I can't partake in those interests without the money that only work provides. Oh why couldn't I have just had a rich relative that I never knew die and give me all their money?

3. Flying is something I could do every day... but I don't, because it's expensive. (Yeah I changed this one a bit. We already discussed pigs in a blanket yesterday.)

4. Warmth and sunlight are things that keep me from sleeping during the day. Damn you graveyard!

5. Dana Porter here I come! In approximately 10 hours.

6. I have 0 tattoo(s), and probably never will. I'm a wimp, plus they probably wouldn't look too good on me.



7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my last night on graveyard (and Dana hopefully getting some sleep, she was dozing in and out when I left the house), tomorrow my plans include getting a bit of sleep, then driving to Oaky Park and Sunday through Tuesday, we hunt for the perfect wedding venue.

Well sumbitch...I done been tagged

I've Been Tagged...
by the underposting, self-proclaimed "over the newness of it all" Sarah of Kidultery fame.

THE RULES:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you. (✓)
2. Post THE RULES on your blog. (✓)
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog. (✓)
4. Tag 7 people and link to them. (Yeah, I only know 3 people with blogs, counting myself...yeah I suck, and they've already been tagged by Sarah!)
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged. (Refer to Rule 4.)

1. I almost stole a Baby Jesus from a community nativity scene. Once realizing I could pay direly for that, I put it back, and took the donkey. It's head fell off.

2. I never went to band camp.

3. This one time, I was in an airplane, and I was asleep. Then I woke up, and the bail-out light was on, and the guy that was supposed to be next to me wasn't, so I almost pulled the ejection handles, but I'm glad I didn't. Turns out we just lost all electrical power in the plane so they were using that light to see. Coulda used a wake-up call...

4. My favorite secret indulgence is probably pigs in a blanket. Only I make them jumbo sized and use full sized hot dogs, then stuff them with cheese, then use an entire croissant triangle from the pillsbury dude for each one. It's entirely feasible for me to eat an entire package of hot dogs in one sitting this way. I've done it. I kinda wanna do it again.

5. I watched every episode of every season of 24 at work. In fact, one week I finished an entire season at work. I pick the best jobs.

6. One time, I got a gun pulled on me in a brothel.

7. I got to fly a B-52 for 40 minutes one time.

Air Force to Release New Ad Campaign

"The program seeks to change a mind-set by educating the American public on how today's Air Force is the most engaged, versatile and high-tech of all military services," the Air Force wrote in fiscal 2009 budget request documents, first described by the Air Force Times last week.

Enjoy!

The Thursday Blews

So yeah, it's official, I'm pretty damn sick of my job. First off, I'm tired of them bouncing me around every shift available over the course of the last month. The sleep changes have rendered me completely useless, all for no reason. Theoretically it was due to me getting some cross-training. I was brought on to be a network guru, but they've now decided they want me to be a network guru and a mainframe guru. I'm the first of the contractors to have to deal with this. From here on out, supposedly every contractor will get this treatment. That's fine, it makes me more valuable as an employee...right? Well, not really. Instead of knowing one part of the job really well, such as network...or mainframe, now I get to know a little bit about both parts. It has become quite obvious to me that I am now not competent in either discipline. I volunteered to work Sunday night for a network guy that was in training, and I was fine, until the phone rang and there was a problem, I just had no idea what to do since I had been cross training for the last month and a half.

At this point, I should be fluent on the main frame side, since I have been cross training so long. Well, with what I've been taught, I am comfortable with. The problem is, they completely suck at getting me access to be able to do what I need. There's not one department that gives you access, there's not a list of all the access I need. Basically, the first day someone says, you need this this and this. Ok, I request that access, and get it...maybe. Every day for the next 3 weeks I find some other access I need, so I submit for that access. It's inevitable that if I send an e-mail requesting the access, I get chided for not submitting the proper online form that is used to then create a trouble ticket. If I send the form, and have a trouble ticket made, I get chided for not sending an e-mail because that particular group only works off of e-mails. So for each access I require, it's a different person or group that has to request it. The company is also split into two parts, aka two entities. Therefore each access has to be granted on each entity...ala two different people. So as it stands, I'm still unable to perform my job functions after a month and a half of fighting for access.

In the meantime, I'm still flying in limbo because I'm a contractor. What was supposed to be a 6 month contract, has been extended to a 1 year contract, because well....no one can tell me why, other than that's how they do things now. Never mind the fact I never would have taken the job knowing it was a one year contract. I have no benefits, I could deal with that for 6 months, I wasn't willing to sacrifice that for a year. But here I am, sacrificing it for a year. So now I'm told, if they do decide to hire me on, it will be as an employee-contractor. Whatever the F that means. All I know is that the company will pay me like a regular employee, I'll get most of the benefits of a regular employee, but not quite all of those benefits...like sick days. WTF?

So April 24th is my 1 year anniversary. They can't even tell me for sure yet if they're going to hire me on as an employee contractor, or just get rid of me and bring in another contractor. They really do like to bring in contractors, it's amazing. They've flat out told me, I stand a better chance at getting hired on if I apply for a position that opens up in another department. Fine with me, I don't particularly like the area I'm in. Well I've passed up positions that I qualified for, because I felt that it would be too strenuous on my back. Finally, the position I was waiting for opens up. A job I'd be really good at, have experience with, and would somehow in a mad scientist way...enjoy. I get the e-mail saying this position has opened up...but wait, it doesn't say anything about accepting external candidates. Usually they post these positions internally and externally. Being a contractor, I don't have access to the system where I can view and apply for internal postings, but have access to the e-mails telling me these positions are open. So I e-mail the hiring manager. He gets back to me telling me that this position won't be posted externally unless they are unable to find someone internally who meets their requirements. Freakin awesome. So if the company does hire me on (as a pseudo-employee), then I'm in a job I hate, but pays the bills, if they don't hire me on, I'm jobless, and likely homeless unless I can find another job that pays this much (not likely.)

I'm frustrated and angry. I apologize now if you're on the road in the morning and I take it out on you. <primal scream>AAAAHHHHH</primal scream>

SXSW Festival

SXSW is a world renowned music festival held in Austin Texas every year. It kinda wasn't so well know 10 years ago or so, but word has gotten out. Basically it's a bunch of bands you've never heard of that play a bunch of bars you've never heard of in a town you likely can't find on the map and may not have ever heard of. Anyway, lots of new music to be found there, my experience is a whole lotta bad mixed in with a small bit of good.

With that being said, anyone that's interested, here's a torrent with most if not all of the bands that will be there this year. 3.5 gb, so don't wait up for it to finish. I'm currently going through trying to find something worthy of keeping, we'll see if I find anything!

http://torrentfreak.com/sxsw-2008-music-torrent-080222/

Google Chat Added!

If anyone be interested, Google Talk has a new feature that allows you to embed a small bit of code on your page/blog and people can chat ya up via Google Talk if you're online. I've put it up here for the time being. If it gets annoying, I'll just dump it. Works out well if you don't have stalkers...which I'm fairly confident I do not. If'n ya wanna add, just click here...

http://www.google.com/talk/service/badge/New

Yer Killin' Me Larry!

Ok, has anyone else posted lately and been completely scared by the picture that google/blogger has posted of an employee who's moving on? Is it sad that at first I think...is that me? Am I this scary? Then I realize it's not me. Maybe it's because I'm posting so early and I'm somewhat delirious.
That is one freaky beard man.

In other news...I have none because I'm waiting for Sarah to resume her posting of Friday Fill-ins so I can steal them and make them my own.

Early Morning Mumblings

Well, here we are. It's 6 am and I'm still at work. See, I've been here since 10 pm last night. I've still got 2 and a half hours to go. The bastards have me working the night shift for 2 weeks (after working the early morning shift for 2 weeks.) They seem to think it will help me with my cross-training. The thing is, I'm doing nothing but sitting here reading whatever I can find on the internet. It's rather boring. Ridiculous I'm getting paid this much to do this little.

Before I get any further, let me just publicly state that I've finally gotten around to getting engaged to Dana. 5 and a half years of dating, 4 and a half of those living with her. I just wanted to be certain...yep, that's it.

Ok, back to my bitch session. I'm a zombie. I'm dying a very slow death, wasting away doing absolutely nothing. Granted, my love life is going great, it's the work life that really blows.

Now I know the majority of the population does mindless work that they really don't enjoy. There's some of us that are extremely lucky to have a passion, even a passion that could employ them full time and live a decent living. Unfortunately I kinda gave up on my passion as I was pursuing it.

Ever since the age of 8, I have wanted to fly airplanes. Sure, Top Gun came out and I wanted so badly to be a fighter pilot, but that was never going to happen since I was diagnosed with myopia around age 12. I did the next best thing and joined the Air Force and was able to work on military airplanes. I even got my hands on the controls of a B-52H on the way to Hawaii once.

After I got out of the military, I got accepted to Kansas University's Aerospace Engineering program (one of the top 5 schools in the country for that..) Mistake number 1, I gave up on that once realizing I couldn't afford an apartment by myself while going to school full time. So a couple years later I find myself in a 4 year program at Kansas State. Professional Pilot program...wow, couldn't believe I was finally there. I was soooo into it. I stayed late, went in early, commuted an hour each way (in Kansas, that's like 70 miles.) I got straight A's the whole way through. I hated going through the classes with these punk ass 18 year olds (I was like...24), but it was worth it, I was flying planes! August 15th, 2002 I successfully passed the checkride, and was granted my Private Pilot Certificate. The next day I started working on my instrument rating.

Fast forward a couple months, and my back starts acting up again (I'd had surgery on June 15th, 2001.) Yes, I do tend to remember all the important dates. Lucky Dana! So once my back started interfering with my ability to train, I decided it would be a wise choice to find a career that I could partake in even if my back hurt. I didn't figure it would be safe for me or my passengers to be flying a plane and find myself unable to kick the rudder pedals, or be so doped up on meds that I would be unable to fly.

So I get my 2 year degree in Web Design. Note that I haven't made a single website since I graduated. Somehow I end up in IT, monitoring, reporting, watching green disappear before my eyes only to turn red. I answer the phones, I call people in the middle of the night. I pull 10 hour shifts staring at multiple monitors wondering where I'll end up, what I'll be doing when I retire.

I always dreamed of the day where I retired. I'd be at the controls of the aircraft, taxiing in after a flight. Firetrucks on either side, spraying their water over my aircraft as I brought it to a stop. The crew chief would run up, plug in his headset and say "Congratulations on one more safe flight sir." I'd go off into retirement and fly small planes for fun and life would be grand.

Now I'm at a point where I'm literally dying to get back into the cockpit. I haven't flown in over 5 years. I absolutely have to get back into it. I just feel like I'm incomplete without it. The passion just won't die. It would be much easier if it would. So I'm trying to get myself back into an airplane. It's going to take awhile. I'm currently on meds that won't allow me to pass a flight physical, so first step is to get off those meds. Next step is to find me a flight instructor who can work with me to come up with a plan to get safely back in the air with the minimum amount of flight hours (read that as money.) Next step is, find the money. With plane rentals at $75 an hour minimum, instructor rate at around $30 an hour...it adds up fast. I figure I'll probably need about 5 hours of instruction to get myself back up to standards. Maybe more, it's really hard to say.

So let's throw that in with all the other places my money has to go this year (remember, I'm getting married!) and ouch...this probably ain't gonna happen. It's just frustrating to have so many loves in my life. Alright wow, I think that's enough rambling. It's now 6:46 am. Only 1:45 left. I can't wait to go home, curl up in bed, and try to fall asleep with the sun peeking through the curtains!

Good night and good luck.

P.S. Winning lottery tickets can be mailed to my home address.

Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast

(ACPA-london) Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following the news that a local man saw an image of the big-bang in a piece of toast. atheist donald chapman, 36, told local newspaper, "the huddlesfield express" that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.

"i was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring. however the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black hole were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the big bang". "it's the beginning of the world" he added excitedly.

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "i have always been an Atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding" said one guest at the Huddlesfield arms hotel.

To the surprise of many, the UK national atheist association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell" said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to huddlesfield anyway noting that "seeing is not believing".

And credit where credit is due...Atlanta Center for Policy Analysis

2nd Amendment - The Right to Bear Arms (only if attached to a dwarf)

So with all my coming and going, traveling at the dark hours of the day, I've decided I'm not very safe. I would apply for a concealed carry permit, but it seems California laws and Riverside county aren't very keen on having law abiding, well trained citizens walking around being able to defend themselves.

So I've found my solution. The worlds smallest bodybuilder. I bet I could even get a holster to slip him into.

Click for life size.

Too sleepy to be original

Alright, I'm too tired to be bothered posting something exciting and meaningful from my life or the world, so you're stuck with this. Mind you this is exciting (not meaningful) and is really a very important skill to have as we all go about our daily lives.


Yep, it's burlesque pasties with LED nips. For your cat. Does it really get any better than this? Click through for the step by step instructable.

It's Hump Day!

1. I'm looking forward to not having to get in bed at 20:30 and not having to wake up at 04:30.
2. Alaska is a place I've always wanted to visit and haven't made it there yet.
3. I've fallen in love with 24, and I miss it dearly. Damn you writers.
4. Six of one, half dozen of the other? I always thought it was 6 in one, half dozen in the other. I've heard many people say this, I'm from the midwest. They always seemed to actually have eggs in their hands as well. I think they were trying to solve a very complex mathematical problem. Damn hicks.
5. Addiction is bliss.
6. Little people in costumes crack me up! Capes work well.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping, tomorrow my plans include working and Sunday, I want to get caught up on my sleep. Wow, I'm the coolest dude alive.

Insurance

So I wake up this morning thinking about insuring myself. I've got none, other than what the VA offers me. That's one hell of a drive, and really I could get better service behind the local 7-11. So it's no coincidence then that I came across some information that I believe will help me to make some very good decisions.

Tom Jones has insured his chest hair for $7,000,000. That's pretty good. Now all he has to do is pass out drunk, have a drunken friend Nair his chest, and voila...he's richer. So this got me thinking, "what is my most valuable asset." I know you're all thinking it's my boyishly good looks (that sounds almost impish or something...not cool) but contrary to popular belief, it's probably my brain. So I think I should insure my brain for a lot of money.

It's really my money maker. Sometimes I even shake it, ya know, a la Night at the Roxbury. Without my brain, I am pretty useless, I'd never be the same, I'd be unemployable, I wouldn't be nearly as charming, hell I wouldn't be able to post on here once a week when I found something pseudo-worthy of posting. So that's it, I've made my decision. I'll insure my brain, when it fails on me in old age, I'll cash in on the insurance. That means I can count on that for my retirement fund. I guess I'll go pull out all my 401K money now and head to Pechanga!

Seriously, I've lost my mind.

Saturday Squeeze-ins.

Thanks Dana and Sarah!


1. Once, I was lost, but now I am found. Now where's my glasses....
2. Today at work I am waiting for the KU game to come on the tele. Rock Chalk Jayhawk!
3. What is this "accidental" internet cable cutting all about? Several cables have been cut in the ocean interrupting internet service all over the middle east. They say it's ships dropping anchors on the cables. How bout buoys marking the cables so ships don't drop anchor there? Maybe they don't want people knowing the cables are there. I dunno.
5. If I make a mistake I learn from it. Then likely make the same mistake next time, but am able to fix it myself.
6. When I woke up this morning, I thought "Damn Dana you need to shave those legs! But then I realized it was the dog, and I felt better about life."
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm working until 9. Then Sunday, I want to relax and enjoy spending time with the ones I love. Well, a couple of em anyway. Monday, I want to play with my Wii and watch the KU game at 6 pm on ESPN. Tuesday, I think maybe I'll do 2 pushups and then start laundry.

Yello'

Hi.

So I'm going to try to venture into this blogging thing again. It seems all the cool kids are doing it.

I'm posting anonymously. Too many people get fired or don't get jobs because their employer finds out about their blog. Since I plan on bitching/poking fun at/and verbally harassing my employer and superiors, I figure anonymity is the way to go.

So a first post should be the obligatory, hi, I'm *******, and this is me.

Well, here I am. I'm 30, I'm an immigrant to Southern California (legally mind you, I transplanted from another great state.) I've got a loving girlfriend and a loving dog who both love me much more than anyone ever has (and probably should.) The feeling is completely mutual.



I work. Well, I go to work and get paid. I figure most of my posting will come in my spare time at work. I work 10 hour days, 4 days a week. Sure saves on gas let me tell ya. Speaking of gas, I'm kind of having an affair with my car. Even if it does have gas. I just love being in it. (Get out of the gutter ya perv.)

I love airplanes, more than I love cars. The problem is, I don't have the luxury of commuting to work in an airplane, let alone the financial stability to do so.



That should suffice for now. We'll delve into deeper subjects at a later time.