So I wake up this morning thinking about insuring myself. I've got none, other than what the VA offers me. That's one hell of a drive, and really I could get better service behind the local 7-11. So it's no coincidence then that I came across some information that I believe will help me to make some very good decisions.
Tom Jones has insured his chest hair for $7,000,000. That's pretty good. Now all he has to do is pass out drunk, have a drunken friend Nair his chest, and voila...he's richer. So this got me thinking, "what is my most valuable asset." I know you're all thinking it's my boyishly good looks (that sounds almost impish or something...not cool) but contrary to popular belief, it's probably my brain. So I think I should insure my brain for a lot of money.
It's really my money maker. Sometimes I even shake it, ya know, a la Night at the Roxbury. Without my brain, I am pretty useless, I'd never be the same, I'd be unemployable, I wouldn't be nearly as charming, hell I wouldn't be able to post on here once a week when I found something pseudo-worthy of posting. So that's it, I've made my decision. I'll insure my brain, when it fails on me in old age, I'll cash in on the insurance. That means I can count on that for my retirement fund. I guess I'll go pull out all my 401K money now and head to Pechanga!
Seriously, I've lost my mind.
About Me
- Saab Pilot
- Inland Empire, California, United States
- I'm a 30 year old SoCal Inland Empire resident. I like cars, I like planes, I like guns, I like girls. I like playing in the sandbox and I enjoy wrestling with my dog. I'm such a boy.
2 comments:
Nice plan. Perhaps if you do a little more night at the Roxbury shaking, you could retire early.
Ironic that your entire post is about insuring your brain and then you say you've lost it at the end.
Perhaps you should find it before you run to the insurance company?
haha. Good post though. Love you
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